Twas The Night Before GC 101

‘Twas the night before Grey Cup and at Taylor Field,
> Not a creature was stirring, the entrances sealed.
> The Riders were nestled and snug in their beds,
> And yes, visions of Grey Cup Rings danced in their heads.
> But Scarth Street downtown was abundant with clatter,
> The cold air, the late hour, did not seem to matter,
> The noise woke Kent Austin, who was up in a flash,
> To the Tiger-Stripe curtains, he made a mad dash.
> He heard Green is the Color and then Rider Pride,
> Then he growled at the crowd with his eyes open wide,
> He looked down at the fans with their face paint and toys,
> And he stood there on Grey Cup Eve, hating the noise.
> The scene ‘neath his window, to Kent was not pleasin’
> It’s quite hard to know why, no one quite knows the reason,
> Some think it goes back to that night at the Dome,
> When the Riders played banjos, so far from their home.
> Some think, perhaps, ‘twas an ’89 spin,
> When an Earl and a Champion came up short of the win,
> But whatever the reason, right now, or back then,
> He must stop the Riders from winning – again.
> “That’s it!,” Austin beamed with a Cheshire grin,
> “I know just how to keep those green guys from the win.”
> He got some green face paint, melon hat, and a beard,
> But with a Tiger-Cat jacket, the whole thing looked quite weird.
> He looked down on the crowd with his green and white eyes,
> “I need just one more thing to complete this disguise,”
> So he went straight downstairs to Victoria Park,
> And got an old #9 jersey from some guy named Mark.
> In his Roughrider costume he moved through the crowd,
> But his green melon hat made the noise much more loud,
> He saw many melons on heads that he knew,
> There was one on Dave Ridgway, on Glen Suitor, too.
> On Elgaard, on Fairholm, on Aldag, on Duke,
> There were so many melons, Kent thought he might puke,
> Milt and Matty were meloned and shaking their hips,
> While Shultz sat in a corner eating All-Dressler Chips.
> Austin ’s eye then was drawn to a big costumed Tabby,
> Right beside a big gopher who danced not too shabby,
> “The noise those fans make all begins with that rat,”
> “With his signs and his car, with a hole and all that.”
> Yes, Kent hated Gainer, the whole football season,
> Again, don’t ask why, no one quite knows the reason,
> But Kent ’s plan was simple: no Gainer to love,
> No Gopher at gametime, no noise from above.
> Kent grabbed Gainer’s tie, began to lead him away,
> When a high-pitched voice shouted a shrill and loud, “HEY!”
> “What are you doing with Gainer, Mr. Guy?”
> “Why are you taking our Gopher Friend? – Why?”
> A small child wore a jersey with a big #5,
> Then she screamed, “You’re Kent Austin! – Dad saw you play live!”
> It was just a small child, no need to be slick,
> So Kent thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick.
> “Yes, well, I’m here to help Gainer. His tail is too light,”
> “It gets stuck on the left and won’t wag to the right.”
> “I’m taking him now to Mosaic, my dear.”
> “I’ll fix him up there and I’ll bring him back here.”
> “Well, I really love Gainer, but love you, Kent , the best!”
> Then Kent felt a strange feeling inside of his chest,
> A feeling he’d felt only two times before,
> But the difference this time was he felt even more.
> Kent let go of Gainer and straightened his tie,
> “It can wait til tomorrow, for tonight he’ll get by.”
> Then Gainer tapped Kent on the top of his head,
> Kent signed the girl’s jersey and said, “Time for bed.”
> Rider Pride’s not a thing you can pluck in the night,
> It flows though Rider Nation and gives it its might,
> And it flowed all through Riderville, into the streets,
> Which were full of green melons and green holy sheets.
> They flowed to Mosaic to cheer and to sing,
> And to watch Double D get his first Grey Cup Ring.
> That Jolly Green Crowd flowed down Albert with ease,
> And Kent sat with Jon Cornish alone at Humpty’s.
> They say that from space you could see a Green Glow,
> And they say, Rider Pride, 3 more sizes did grow,
> In the morning, the Riders ate Dario’s and Cakes,
> The Cats? 83 boxes of stale Fantuz Flakes.